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Choosing Divorce, Divorce Litigation, and Divorce Mediation – Taking Stock of Your Options, Part 3

This post is the third in a multi-part series on choosing divorce, divorce litigation, and mediation. If you haven’t already read parts 1 and 2, I recommend you do before continuing.

Choosing Divorce (continued)

How does your spouse feel about the divorce, and how well can you communicate about it?

If only one spouse wants the divorce and the couple cannot have productive communication on the subject, then it’s much more likely it will devolve into a bitter, prolonged battle. It’s also important to note that New Mexico, like almost all other states, has no fault divorce. This means that anyone who wants to end their marriage may do so, regardless of their spouse’s wishes. However, the more the divorcing couple are on the same page and the greater their ability to communicate, the more smoothly it is likely to go.

Have you exhausted all other practical options?

Given the risks, uncertainty, and potential damage associated with divorce, it’s a good idea to make sure you’ve explored all your other options. Many couples go to a therapist before considering ending their marriage. But how many couples go to two or more therapists? Finding the right therapist to get the help you need can take time, and you might not mesh well with the first one you try, or even the second. It’s certainly a lot cheaper and easier to try another therapists or two than it is to pursue divorce.

Has severe stress caused your relationship to crumble?

We all know the classic wedding vow line, “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” But the reality is that divorce rates increase dramatically following traumatic life events like the death of a loved one, severe physical or mental illness, miscarriage, bankruptcy, or foreclosure. If an external stressor has caused your marriage to fall apart, you may want to hold off on the decision to dissolve your marriage until after you’re both able to move past the trauma, at least as much as is possible. You may find that your marriage wasn’t the problem, after all.

Check back soon for Part 4!

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