Leading Financial and Family Law Attorneys
After the Divorce
After the divorce is a rough part of any marriage.
Almost all divorces (but certainly not all!) end with some bitterness, sense of loss, sense of failure and regret. There is not much good that comes after the divorce is final.
If you have been married for many years, you are in certain habits, and used to living a certain way – like which side of the bed you sleep on!
Divorce is final though – and an end to what was. The question becomes what next? How does one pick up the pieces and move on?
One of the most important parts of a newly divorced person is to rediscover that person they are on their own. Many times spouses give up traits, habits and things they enjoy just because the spouse does (did) not!
Start with those.
Find out what makes you energized.
What makes you unique? What is it about you that you have always been proud of, or what you might have been very proud of at one time that you have let slip away.
Invest in yourself.
After the divorce many people allow themselves to grieve way too long. The way out of any depression, sense of loss, failure is action. There is no better action than taking care of you. By rewarding yourself with things that you like, the past is able to slowly become the past. Your present becomes so much better, and in fact, you will find yourself even beginning to grow again. This is good!
Let go of all the past possible.
It is so easy to dwell on what ifs. What if I had done this, or not done that. This is a worthless, and even worse, very damaging thought pattern as it will take you absolutely nowhere good.
Your goal now should be to change out the dwelling in the past to anticipation of what is to come. This in itself can be somewhat scary – but combine the anticipation with slight fear and you have excitement! And excitement is exactly what is needed after the divorce. It is perfectly OK to be excited about your new life.
If you have children to take care, they will join and increase your excitement taking all of you to new places in your new lives!
So now that you are the only one – either by yourself or with children –responsibilities might change – drastically. You might now have sole custody and responsible for all decisions for the remaining family.
This is not a bad thing necessarily as you might have always wanted to do things differently anyway.
Understand that there will be ups and downs just like there has always been and no amount of stress and worry on your part will change that. You can lessen any ups and downs with your attitude.
An uplifting, positive attitude always makes for a much better life – as well as providing a healthier, happier home for everyone!
No one is saying that divorce is easy or even fun – but there is no reason to carry the emotions and burdens from the divorce over into our new life.
Here at the law firm, we sincerely hope you do not have to deal with life after a divorce, but we are here for you if you do.
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